お盆:The Mid-Summer Obon Holiday: A Story of Dumplings

It’s the height of summer in August, and in Japan, there’s a tradition called Obon from the 13th to the 16th. It’s a time when we believe the spirits of our ancestors return to our homes. Many people who have moved away also use this period to return to their hometowns and visit their families. This is when most companies give people time off for their “summer holidays.”

This year, despite the brutal heat, I had three days off for Obon, and it was packed with things I wanted to do and needed to get done.

When I was a kid, Obon was the highlight of summer vacation. My cousins and other relatives would all gather at my family’s house, and we’d have a blast. My family ran a pig farm, and since it was hard for us to take long trips, we always looked forward to this time of year when everyone came to us.

Decades have passed since then. In recent years, my Obon routine has been to either go camping or spend a few nights at my parents’ house with my son. I used to just hang out and play all day without helping much, but lately, the way I spend my time has started to change.

So, I thought I’d tell you about my Obon this year.

Preparing for Obon: The Great Dumpling War

When you think of Obon, you think of dango (dumplings). They’re a simple food, made from a mix of two kinds of rice flour, rolled into balls, and boiled. When you eat them as a treat, you usually put them on a skewer and top them with a sweet, soy-based sauce, or grill them and add sweet red bean paste. However, for Obon, we offer simple, unflavored boiled dumplings to our ancestors at the grave.

It’s always been a tradition in my family to make dango at home on the last day of Obon to offer to our ancestors. This year, though, my mom saw me getting things ready and decided she wanted to make them on the very first day. “Mom,” I told her, “we make dango on the last day of Obon.” But she wouldn’t listen.

Sure enough, while I was in the kitchen preparing lunch, my mom kept hovering behind me, looking for a chance to start making the dango. The crazy thing is, she was trying to use potato starch instead of rice flour! It was never going to work. I even tried to get my dad to keep an eye on her while I was busy, but she still managed to make the dango with the potato starch.

“I can’t believe you didn’t stop her,” I said to my dad later. He just chuckled and replied, “I knew she was up to something, but by the time I saw what she was doing, it was already too late.” He hadn’t even tried to stop her!

A Lively Obon with My Wife

During the Obon holiday, my wife and son came to my parents’ house to stay. My wife had also invited my sister’s daughter—my niece—who is the same age as my son. The two of them have been close since birth, with birthdays so close together. Even after all these years, they acted like the same crazy kids they were when they were little.

For dinner that evening, we decided to have a charcoal grill barbecue in the yard. I was in charge of the grilling, so I spent the whole time cooking meat, vegetables, and seafood. It was a lot of work, but it was great to see everyone having so much fun. My parents, who usually live alone, were so happy to see everyone together.

I was especially impressed by my wife. She spent about thirty minutes talking to my mom, whose dementia has progressed to the point where communication is almost impossible. My mom kept asking my wife where my grandmother was, even though my grandmother passed away nearly twenty years ago and my wife never met her. My wife was exhausted afterward, but she handled it with so much patience.

Making Dumplings, Take Two

On the last day of Obon, my wife and son had gone home, so it was just my dad, my mom, and me for the grave visit. I secretly got rid of the dumplings my mom had made with potato starch. Then, using rice flour that an aunt had given us, I started making proper dango for the ceremony.

I acted as if I didn’t know how to do it and asked my mom, “Can you show me how to make dango for the grave visit? Let’s make them together.” She was so happy to help. “When you mix the flour, you should use warm water, not cold,” she told me, and I nodded along as we rolled the dumplings together.

The dumplings we made weren’t perfectly round or the same size, but they were more than good enough to offer to our ancestors. We then walked the short distance to the cemetery, a trip that normally takes fifteen minutes, but took us twice as long as we walked slowly together.

When I was a kid, it was common for more than ten of us—my siblings, cousins, and other relatives—to go to the gravesite together. Now, Obon at my parents’ house is much quieter. But it was a good one, and I hope we can all get together again next year.

日本人にとってのお盆は、先祖の供養だけでなく実家との交流や文化・風習を繋ぐための貴重な時間として続いていると改めて感じます。

自分の子供の頃とは、生活が大きく変化していますが可能な限り続けていきたいと思わされます。

Additional information:

  • Obon (お盆): Obon is a traditional Japanese Buddhist event for commemorating one’s ancestors. It is believed that during Obon, the spirits of deceased ancestors return to this world in order to visit their relatives. Many people who have moved away also use this period to return to their hometowns and visit their families.
  • Dango (団子): Dango are traditional Japanese dumplings made from rice flour. They are often served on a skewer with a sweet sauce or sweet bean paste, but they are also used for various ceremonial and ritual purposes.
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